subyroo
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Messages
- 620
- Location
- Sunshine Coast - Australia
- Car Year
- 2023
- Car Model
- Honda ZR-V VTi-L 1.5 Turbo
- Transmission
- CVT
SEX EDUCATION 101/Simplifying Sex to one’s Son
P.S. Asterisk's replace a a word sounding like pitch.
Little George asked Mom what 2 words mean that kids at school were using - cat and *****.
Mom inhaled sharply, but then said,
"Oh, that's easy.
A cat is a cat, like our little Chico .
A ***** is a female dog, like our Sandy ."
"Thanks, Mom."
He then found his Dad out in the garage.
"Dad, the guys at school are using words I don't understand."
"What words, son?"
"cat and *****. I asked Mom, but I don't think she told me the right meanings."
Dad said, "Son, never ask your mother about these things, ask me instead. Let me explain it like this."
He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centerfold, drew a circle around the pubic area and said..
"Son, everything inside the circle is cat."
"Okay, Dad. Then what's a *****?"
Dad replied, "Everything outside the circle."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Parking Officer's Funeral
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral a voice from inside screams:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!!!"
The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too late pal, the paperwork’s already done"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
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Husband's Diary:
A four putt; who the hell four putts?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
PLEASE, be careful!!!!
If you buy stuff on-line, check out the seller carefully.
Be especially careful about what you purchase on eBay.
I bought a $150 penis enlarger.
The *******s sent me a magnifying glass.
The instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight".
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
P.S. Asterisk's replace a a word sounding like pitch.
Little George asked Mom what 2 words mean that kids at school were using - cat and *****.
Mom inhaled sharply, but then said,
"Oh, that's easy.
A cat is a cat, like our little Chico .
A ***** is a female dog, like our Sandy ."
"Thanks, Mom."
He then found his Dad out in the garage.
"Dad, the guys at school are using words I don't understand."
"What words, son?"
"cat and *****. I asked Mom, but I don't think she told me the right meanings."
Dad said, "Son, never ask your mother about these things, ask me instead. Let me explain it like this."
He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centerfold, drew a circle around the pubic area and said..
"Son, everything inside the circle is cat."
"Okay, Dad. Then what's a *****?"
Dad replied, "Everything outside the circle."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Parking Officer's Funeral
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral a voice from inside screams:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!!!"
The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too late pal, the paperwork’s already done"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
Husband's Diary:
A four putt; who the hell four putts?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
PLEASE, be careful!!!!
If you buy stuff on-line, check out the seller carefully.
Be especially careful about what you purchase on eBay.
I bought a $150 penis enlarger.
The *******s sent me a magnifying glass.
The instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight".
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
:rotfl:
